oh, miriam

"So. Tell me about your boyfriend."


[the usual: ex-boyfriend'sbestfriends and writers or engineers or photographers or all or neither and almost fourteen months. almost.]

{ you're already sweating--but you still don't know which part makes you so nervous. maybe that you're discussing this great love but yesterday was the first time in months, probably, that you didn't hear his voice. or maybe that you're being interviewed about something that you don't ever think about (that being, the lack thereof of sex). you know you're not having it and you won't be having it soon but you don't know why. }

"Ha, he sounds a lot like you."


[really?]

{ you like hearing that }


"So...Tell me why you're still a virgin."


[look off into the distance, tell miriam stuff about my parents and how he respects me and how my mother just knows but how i admire her and how i wasn't allowed to go to dances and how the only friend i had in high school who was having sex always thought it was condescending that i didn't and how he's so good that he will wait but how i don't want to grow up and how it's just part of my life and that's it.]

{ why "still?" }