Friday, July 07, 2006

New York Times. HAHA get it?

I have become a strange creature. This morning, before I brushed my teeth, or looked in the mirror, or turned on the lights, I was already on the new york times website. The world is obviously more important than me having to pee or get dressed or be on time to work, right? I've never actually felt this uneasiness that I'm about to describe, but I guess that not being able to wait to read the paper whose print edition is already outside my door by the time I wake up could be attributed to...what? I don't know. Anyway this story (which is really just an anecdote, which is really a recounting of an inconclusive error of memory) needs to go on.

So, I get up today and check the times blah blah and the main story is about the one year anniversary of the London bombings. It took less than a second for me to realize that this meant that today was also the one year anniversary of me moving to New York. Colt took me to the airport really early on the morning of the london bombings and...wow, it's been a whole year since I've lived here, then.

The date never stuck with me, I guess, but I liked the idea that I'd made the indirect realization about the exact twelve months I'd spent here already. As I stared at my computer, I indulged in a bit of flashbacks, and remembered that morning, getting into colt's truck and being a bit emotional about the news and thinking he wouldn't have heard about it yet, since it was so early, but of course he had, his parents think an appropriate time to wake up is like 5 am. I remembered the goodbye in the round entranceway to the san diego airport, and then I got up from the floor (is my laptop ever on a lifted surface?) and got dressed and went to work and didn't have time to read the times because my train ride is super super short so aha.

Fast forward through a half-day at work (i discovered the perfect way to beat rush hour people-traffic--leave work three hours early!) and some paul auster reading and a blog entry whose format i ripped off from best week ever. I want to write about how it's my one year anniversary of moving back to new york. Ok, fern, but first you should check your livejournal to see what you wrote a year ago today.

I started with a year ago yesterday, which held a record of my last day with colt and encinitas.
Dear Fernanda of the Future,

I'm writing this letter to you to make sure you don't forget how delightful this day was. You loved a lot today. Or, perhaps you just realized how fully you did.

...You put on a salmon-pink ruffled chiffon skirt that wasn't really a skirt, but more of a scarf, over your jeans, and put your wet hair up, waiting until you got picked up. He would later tell you you looked very nice today, that...well...i mean, you always do, but today especially. Then you were whisked off by this ruggedly handsome man at your door, wearing what some would consider an offensive tshirt condemning the sanctity of marriage. You held hands while he drove, something you do a lot yet manages to always surprise and comfort you........

...Be Good,

Fernanda of the sixth of July.

Ah, yes, that perfect day. And here I am, reading an entry I actually adressed to my future self, reading it as a full-year future self, meant to serve as a super detailed memory outliner of when you were most in love...ok, sorry. i'm aware this is neat only to me.

Next day:

I began Killing Yourself to Live, Chuck Klosterman's just-released novel(?), at about 6:30pm today.
Three and a half hours later, I finished it.
He puts me in the weirdest mood...
Hm, that's weird. Keep going.
Today was unbelievably difficult.
Ah, yes, there it is. Next line,
Three weeks better damn well go by fast.
Uh.......shit shit shit shit wrong day. wrong one year anniversary. you took colt to the airport, and the big goodbye day on july 6th had taken place because he was going to japan for three weeks the next day. good one.

Turns out in the process of writing this, I've realized the partial truth of my prior realization, but I got to remember the great feeling of july 6. I don't know by how much I was off on the new york year exactly, but I'm not going to check. I'm hoping for another trigger.


If you weren't real, I would make you up.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

=)

sofia serrano said...

i get it! (your subject)

you're a champion blogger.